Acceptance

Have you ever experienced discomfort mentally or physically?

If you’re human, the answer is yes-this is the foundation of life.

The upside of feeling uncomfortable is the flip side - the opposing mental state or physical condition.

This duality is the contrast we so feverishly run from in life.

There are two sides to everything - darkness would not exist without light. Happiness would not exist without sorrow.

Look at this flower in my Easter arrangement.

It’s perfection.

It’s beautiful.

It has duality and contrast.

It just is.

It sits peacefully in its duality; not fighting to be anything other than what it is; accepting of both sides.

Are you familiar with The Tao Te Ching?

The Tao is an ancient writing by Lao Tzu.

Lao Tzu expressed the importance of accepting both sides of everything in life.

He asks us to accept what is.

I know you’re thinking “easier said than done!”

Speaking from experience, I know how challenging this can be.

We so easily categorize life as good versus bad, happy or sad, ugly or beautiful, acceptable vs. unacceptable.

It’s how we have been conditioned to survive.

It’s becomes an unconscious a coping mechanism.

It’s how we make sense out life.

We suffer by doing so.

I overwhelmed and exhausted myself for three decades with this mindset.

growing up in an alcoholic home meant finding sense in the madness; the first survival tool was categorizing my life for safety.

We categorize and label in order to gain a sense of control in a life that can feel out of control.

Unconsciously this becomes out default mechanism; but it’s not th equality of life you’re meant for.

You are meant to feel all feelings.

You are meant to experience the discomfort so that the opposite is that much more beautiful, peaceful, and enjoyable.

But how?

How do we stop ourselves from living in this pattern?

The first step is awareness.

If you work with me, this is not a new concept to you.

Awareness is everything.

Become aware of how you categorize everything in your life.

How do you categorize yourself?

How do you categorize others?

How do you categorize foods?

How do you categorize success?

Begin seeing the pattern and you’ve stepped into the freedom.

After you become aware of how you have been doing this in your life, accept it.

Accept that you have been viewing life through this lens, and forgive yourself.

No judgement allowed for the judgement you’ve been inflicting on both yourself, and on others.

Accept that you have been coping and surviving the best way you knew how … BUT, now you know better.

Have you ever heard the saying “know better, do better”?

In essence, once you have the awareness of what’s not working in your life, use it to make a change.

So, you have awareness and acceptance; now take action.

Action is where the magic happens.

When you catch yourself compartmentalizing something as either “good” or “bad”, and you’ve forgiven yourself for going there, you then switch your thoughts.

You choose to view this duality/contrast another way.

Ask yourself “what is this pain teaching me?'“

“What is this sadness giving me?”

“what door has this rejection opened for me?”

Seeing the flip side allows you to step out of overwhelm, it frees you from feeling out of control in life.

The duality of life is actually a gift; it is a beautiful thing.

When we can see it as such, it makes our lives livable again.

It actually enriches our life, deepens it; strengthens it.

So I invite you right now to begin seeing the areas of your life where you categorize and disempower yourself by making things so black and white.

Lean into the contrast and begin repatterning how you see it.

Take action to accept all parts of life and allow both sides to make you a better person.

You are just like this flower; the duality makes you more beautiful.