People pleasing.

I'm answering one of the most commonly asked questions.

BEFORE I DIG INTO SOME OF THE WAYS YOU CAN FINALLY STOP YOUR PEOPLE PLEASING TENDENCIES, LET ME EXPLAIN A BIT ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE-PLEASING REALLY IS.

PEOPLE-PLEASERS ARE NICE. IN FACT, THEY TEND TO BE SO NICE THAT THEY PURSUE SATISFYING EVERYONE ELSES NEEDS, SUPPRESSING THEIR OWN IN THE PROCESS.

AT FIRST GLANCE THIS CAN APPEAR LIKE THE EPITOME OF GENEROSITY AND KINDNESS, BUT IN REALITY, IT OFTEN CREATES A LIFE OF RESENTMENT AND ANGER.

BESIDES SUPPRESSING ONE'S TRUE SELF AND LETTING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS FESTER AND GROW, PEOPLE-PLEASERS ARE AT RISK OF BURNOUT BECAUSE THEY TEND TO TAKE ON TOO MANY RESPONSIBILITIES.

OKAY, I'M SPEAKING OF PEOPLE-PLEASERS AS IF I'M NOT ONE, WHEN IN REALITY, I WAS THE BIGGEST PEOPLE-PLEASER. IN FACT, PEOPLE-PLEASING DROVE ME INTO DISORDERED EATING IN COLLEGE AND ALCOHOL DEPENDENCE IN MY THIRTIES.

AS A RESULT, MY MISSION IS TO HELP OTHER WOMEN NOT END UP LIKE I DID.

SO LET'S DIVE INTO SOME WAYS YOU CAN STOP THE PEOPLE-PLEASING BEHAVIORS.

1. TAKE A LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF. THE MOST COMMON TRAIT IS THAT PEOPLE-PLEASERS DON'T THINK THEY'RE PEOPLE-PLEASING, CONVERSELY, THEY THINK THEY'RE JUST THE KINDEST, NICEST, AND MOST HELPFUL PERSON AROUND … IRREPLACEABLE AND ONE OF A KIND! NEXT TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, STOP AND FEEL YOUR BODY. WHAT DOES YOUR INTUITION SAY? IF YOU'RE RELUCTANT, ASK YOURSELF WHY YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR INNER WISDOM.

2. LEARN TO HONOR YOURSELF BY SAYING NO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO START WITH THE BIG THINGS, EXERCISE SAYING NO TO THE LITTLE THINGS. AS YOU GET MORE COMFORTABLE WITH HONORING YOUR OWN NEEDS IN LITTLE WAYS, YOU'LL BEGIN FEELING MORE COMFORTABLE SETTING BOUNDARIES FOR THE BIG ONES. - DECLINE A LUNCH INVITATION - DECLINE AN ONLINE GROUP EVENT - TURN DOWN FREE FOOD SAMPLES AT THE STORE

3. TAKE YOUR TIME RESPONDING, IT'S YOUR TIME TO USE. IF YOU'RE USED TO SAYING YES TO EVERYONE, IT WILL FEEL FOREIGN TO ASL YOURSELF WHAT YOU WANT FIRST. ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY, NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD SAY. SIMPLY BREATHE BEFORE REPLYING, THIS IS ONE THING PEOPLE-PLEASERS FORGET TO DO!

4. STOP EXPLAINING YOURSELF. OFTEN THE PEOPLE-PLEASER WILL SAY YES BECAUSE IT'S EASIER THEN HAVING TO EXPLAIN THE “NO”. THE THING IS, A NO NEEDS NO EXPLANATION, NOBODY REALLY CARES … (NO OFFENSE :) ).

5. PRIORITIZE YOURSELF. TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR LIFE AND WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU. DON'T SACRIFICE YOURSELF; YOU'LL BURNOUT AT SOME POINT.

6. STOP AVOIDING CONFLICTS, INSTEAD, AIM TO EXPRESS YOURSELF, AND RESOLVE ISSUES. USING "I' STATEMENTS HELP YOU TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS WITHOUT FEELING THAT IT'S AN ATTACK ON SOMEONE ELSE. WHEN YOU DO THIS, IT GIVES OTHERS PERMISSION TO DO THE SAME. THIS CREATES A RIPPLE EFFECT OF COMMUNICATION AND RESPECT.

   SO HERE'S THE MAGIC, WHEN YOU SAY NO, YOU'RE SAYING YES TO SO MUCH MORE. SAYING YES TO YOU, CREATES A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF, WHICH IN TURN STRENGTHENS EVERY RELATIONSHIP IN YOUR LIFE. WHETHER IN YOUR CAREER, YOUR FAMILY, OR WITH FRIENDS, YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE DEEPER, STRONGER, AND RICHER.

   I INVITE YOU TO STOP PEOPLE -PLEASING YOURSELF THROUGH 2022 AND STEP INTO THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF!

   IF I CAN DO IT, YOU SURE CAN!!!